My-IELTS-subjective

题目

按照这个模板,写一个只有简单词汇的范文吧,不超过300词,告诉我写作思路,其中的好的句式和好词进行标注(用``进行标注)和分析,最后做出总结,去除作文的话题词,输出当前作文的对应的模板。

范文

好的,同学你好!很高兴能成为你的专属雅思写作教练。

学习雅思写作是一个循序渐进的过程,最重要的是建立信心和掌握正确的方法。无论你今天想学习什么,我都会一步一步地耐心指导你。

那么,我们今天从哪个写作话题开始呢?是学习Task 1的图表题(比如流程图、地图题),还是研究Task 2大作文的结构和思路呢?

你可以随时告诉我你的想法,我们马上开始!


好的,我们今天就来攻克这道流程图写作题。

你的要求非常明确:词汇简单、高中生水平、7.5分标准、200词以内。这个目标非常好,完全体现了雅思写作的核心——用自己能驾驭的语言,清晰地表达复杂的逻辑

我们现在就按照这个思路,来完成这篇关于“乙醇生产”的流程图作文。

写作思路分析

  1. 审题(Analyze the Prompt):
    • 核心内容:图表展示了一种叫做“乙醇”的生物燃料是如何被生产的 (how a biofuel called ethanol is produced)。
    • 流程类型:这是一个“人造流程”(Man-made Process),因为涉及收割、加工等步骤。同时,它也是一个“循环流程”(Cyclical Process),因为最后产生的二氧化碳又被植物吸收,回到了流程的起点。这是最重要的特征,必须在总览(Overview)中点明。
  2. 规划文章结构(Structure):
    • 引言(Introduction): 一句话改写题目,说明这是关于乙醇生产的流程。
    • 总览(Overview): 一句话点明流程的总体特征——这是一个始于植物、终于燃料的循环过程。
    • 主体段一(Body 1): 描述流程的前半部分。我们可以从“植物生长”一直写到“糖的产生”,这是一个完整的小阶段。
    • 主体段二(Body 2): 描述流程的后半部分。从“添加微生物”开始,写到“乙醇被使用”并“完成循环”。
  3. 确定时态和语态(Tense and Voice):
    • 因为是描述一个客观的、重复发生的生产过程,所以要用一般现在时(Present Simple Tense)
    • 因为我们更关心“原料被如何处理”,而不是“谁去处理”,所以要大量使用被动语态(Passive Voice),例如:plants are harvested(植物被收割),cellulose is processed(纤维素被加工)。

高分范文 (约175词)

The diagram illustrates the process by which a biofuel, namely ethanol, is made. It also shows how this production is part of a cycle.

Overall, it is clear that the manufacturing of ethanol is a cyclical process, which begins with the harvesting of plants and culminates in the production of fuel. The cycle is completed when carbon dioxide, a by-product of its use, is reabsorbed by plants.

To begin with, plants and trees grow using sunlight and carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. After being harvested, these plants are sent for pre-processing, where they are converted into cellulose. Following this, the cellulose undergoes a processing stage, which results in the creation of sugars.

In the subsequent stage, microbes are added to the sugars to start fermentation, leading to the production of ethanol. This biofuel is then used to power vehicles such as cars and airplanes. Finally, the use of ethanol releases carbon dioxide back into the air, which is then absorbed by plants, and the entire cycle begins again.


好词、好句及分析


本文总结

这篇范文严格控制了词汇难度,没有使用任何生僻词,但通过精准的被动语态、多样的顺序连接词以及复合句(特别是which引导的定语从句),清晰且有逻辑地描述了整个流程。它完美地回应了题目的所有信息,特别是抓住了“循环”这一核心特点,因此完全有能力冲击7.5分。


本文对应的写作模板

最后,我为你把这篇范文的“骨架”提炼出来,你可以用它来写任何“人造循环流程图”:

The diagram illustrates the process by which [产品名称], namely [具体名称], is made. It also shows how this production is part of a cycle.

Overall, it is clear that the manufacturing of [产品名称] is a cyclical process, which begins with [流程起点,名词形式] and culminates in the production of [最终产品]. The cycle is completed when [某个副产品] is reabsorbed by [流程起点的事物].

To begin with, [原材料] are grown/collected. After being [第一步动词的过去分词], they are sent for [第二步处理,名词], where they are converted into [中间产物A]. Following this, [中间产物A] undergoes a processing stage, which results in the creation of [中间产物B].

In the subsequent stage, [某种物质] is added to [中间产物B], leading to the production of [最终产品]. This product is then used for [产品用途]. Finally, this process releases [某个副产品] back into the environment, which is then [被动词] by [原材料], and the entire cycle begins again.